the worst is having a dream where someone loves you and you can practically feel them touching you and it feels so real and then you wake up and it’s like the life is being sucked out of you and the happiness just drains out of your body and you feel empty again
the fact that over 300,000 other people know exactly what this feels like too is a source of great comfort
What if everyone’s parents start getting tumblr like they did with Facebook
My best friend just lost her virginity bc she was too lazy to turn a light on and the boy she was with said “I’ll turn it on if you fuck me” so he did and they did..
AND THEY DIDN’T USE A CONDOM BECAUSE SHE WAS TOO LAZY TO GET ONE OUT OF HER BAG
And she’s trying to figure out when she last had her period depending on what homework she had due
it’s kind of funny how many notes my wrong decision and pure laziness has gotten me
i wanna be a reverse tooth fairy where i rob people and then scatter human teeth on their bed
i dont know what your dentist is doing to you but i think you need to go to the police
don’t u hate it when u put ur fingers in the hole and the hole stretches or rips and everything just comes out
I PUT THAT IN THE TAGS STOP MESSAGING ME
nothing makes a gamer more nervous than when the game autosaves in a seemingly harmless location
"this is an awfully convenient collection of healing items"
"why is all this ammo here"
"where did all the enemies go"
"This room has rather a lot of wide, open space in it."
"The music stopped suddenly."
"No, there it is."
"….That’s an awful lot of bass."
straight boy problem #72
not being able jack off because you’d be touching a dick and that’s gay